must be trash day in mason, pickup trucks keep driving slowly up the street, stopping at every house that seems to have 'stuff' out on the curb.  those miscellaneous pieces, that might be trash, might still be a bit useful...

do they stop and pick them up, take the chance that maybe there might be some use left in it, or at least parts that can be used to make something they already have stashed at home, functional.

sometimes i expect them to stop, come up and ring the door bell and tell me to hop in the back of the truck.
might be a useful part or something i could be good for.
maybe if they took tony and me, they might end up with enough pieces to make a real person.
(maybe)

sitting here tonight, should  be preparing for the big debut tomorrow night, sitting in with the Ben Peterson Group.

first real live gig in years.

but instead, i'm just looking out the window, listening to Chris Smither singing 'just killing the blues'.
just pushed me over a slight bit to the blues side of things.

and for all of you trivia buffs, the reason i'm listening to Chris Smither tonight is because i heard his version of bonnie Riatt's 'love me like a man' this afternoon on the radio, had to hear it again.
he does a really good version. (guess he should, he did write it)
and for you folks who keep track, yes, chris smither is a Fur Peace guy.

i went to the Guided Imagery thing tonight at the Wellness Center.
i should do that more often, chris is really good, and it helps to be among the people jackie met as her last 'new' group of friends. (NOTE: i promise that last sentence is NOT because i know that chris (Popa, not Smither) reads this sometimes.
jackie really loved her, and what she did, and how she made her feel.

sometimes that might be why i don't want to go, not a big group, but they all loved jackie, and miss her, even though they didn't really have that much time with her.
(as i've said before, that's just the way she was)

it was good to get there tonight.
the old familiar room, i always sit in 'jackie's seat when i go now, maybe trying to pick up a little essence she might have left before, or just to sit where she sat.

i have to say, i did pretty good this evening, lots of small fleeting but highly defined images.
we were supposed to look toward our goals for the year, glad this time i wasn't asked, even i have limits!

almost didn't want to leave there.
just talking, just being sort of, kind of, a normal person...
out of the house, talking to a real live person.

now i'm home, trolling the internet, listening to some music.

wondering what life holds for me,
sometimes the sun shines brightly,
sometimes i wait for the other shoe to fall.
(the way things have been the last several years in the bodmo' house, i think it's a spider up there dropping those damn shoes.)

anyway, just felt like i needed to come out here.
throw some thoughts, and ideas up against the internet, see if they stick.

no real direction in this one.
it's more a mirror of my every day life.

not a lot of direction,
i'd describe it as a rudderless ship, but...
a. that's been done too many times.
b. it really wouldn't describe the situation, at least with a., you have a boat.

at times, i feel like i'm just out in the middle of the water, kind of floating along, holding on to a big pile of rudders that fell of other people's boats.

i'm just trying to hold them together, close enough, that i can sort of get out of the water, and get a couple minutes of feeling kind of like there is a bit of a direction to all this endless floating.

oh well,
that's all you get.
float on, people!

namaste