mary, mary, how does that garden grow

wow,
been a long time since i put anything up here.


it's almost halfway into 2012, nothing has happened, you ask?


no, too much,
there was a marriage.,
then a death,
then the end of a marriage, (yes, same one as two lines above...)


billions of people in this world, yet still we somehow manage to do most of our traveling alone.


we all have out little space, and we cultivate what we want around us.  
for good of for bad.


some keep their space bare, and desolate, so as not to let any weeds grow.
if you don't know what it is, it must be a week, so you pull it, nothing grows.


most of us, have a nice little plot, a few favorite plants, and various others, some weeds, some not.
(often the weeds are the most fun, and can get you into the most trouble,
but you wouldn't live without them)


but for most of us, there is at least one of two favorites.
when it's nice and sunny, we can go out and sit under the branches, and feel warm, sheltered, loved and taken care of.


when the weather goes south, maybe it's raining hard, you get closer to the faves, their leaves and branches break the momentum of the rain.
you are both still getting wet, but together it's not as bad.


then something happens and that favorite is gone.
there is just a hole where your soul used to be.


you look down into the hole, wondering what happened, why it happened, how you can get your favorite back.


there are so many possible solutions:

• sit and look down into the hole, crying each day until the moss around you grows up over you
• climb down into the hole, swearing not to come out until your special one comes back. eventually you get buried and there isn't even a lump for people to remember you by.
• some run out really quickly, almost always too quickly, and buy a new favorite plant and put it in the open, scary looking hole in your space.  rarely it works, but still we try
• some buy all kind of really neat, and cool ornaments, bird baths, whirlygigs, fountains, place them all around the hole, make it look festive, look nice. (we all know the hole is still there)

 so many options, as usual the proper chapters are left out of the guide book, our 'helping friendly book'


 what i think is that you have to honor the hole in your garden,
acknowledge it, but don't fall in.
 (a wise woman once warned her friends and family to keep their eye on a certain husband to make sure he didn't just go into the hole and pull the dirt down on top of him)


 i think the only option is to honor the hole, not decorate it, or fill it in, it will be there forever.
 the seasons, the weather will soften the edges of the hole, make them look less like a scar in your garden, and more like just part of the plan.


 you can find other plants that could become the new important plant, but that takes time.
 and care, very special care.


 it's hard to plant something, next to a big hole...
 the tendency is for it to kind of encroach on the hole, and care must be taken to make sure that doesn't happen.


 no matter how important the new plant, it is not there to replace the one that is gone,
 it cannot replace the missing one, and shouldn't.


but it can grow and prosper, and compliment the space, eventually casting it's shade and cover  to you, and to the the vacancy next to it in the garden.


 or maybe i'm nuts?
 (or else i've dug myself into a hole that i just can't seem to write myself out of?)


 oh well,
 maybe next entry won't take so long.